i was noticing today that my potted plants have some friends residing along with them. about a month or so ago, kaylee was outside with me and was playing with the "helicopters" that were falling from the trees. she decided to take the ones from the patio and put them all into the pots. since then, we've had rain...
...and now we have these:
(uhhh... please excuse the way my potted plants look. they've been neglected lately.)it's amazing how time passes and you don't realize how things grow. i'm worried that is what will happen with kaylee...as well as with me and my family. just thinking that my oldest sister having a landmark birthday makes me realize how fast life does fly by.
it seems like there have been many invitations to weddings, graduation parties, and celebratory events...i think chad and i will be at 7 weddings this year. there are new starts everywhere, but one thing that i recently wrote (to a high school graduate) is to live each day without regret. not in a worldly sense, but without letting God down. living each day that He gives you to the fullest.
can i say i am doing this? unfortunately not. however, there's a conviction that the opposite is far worse...when time goes by, and there isn't growth. what happened to the red hot, blazing flame that once lived inside of my heart? can i blame situational things that i'm in? job...caring for kaylee...being married...
i want to but i can't. of course there are many other things vieing for my time, but at the same time, i would make time for what is important to me. i've been realizing that i've fallen into the trap that i can be self-sufficient. what a lie and a joke.
so i'm here...praying that God would rekindle the flame inside of me. that He would use me in any way, shape, or form that He desires...and that I would be willing and obedient. even if it is sacrificing things of importance or time-consuming...even if it is staying up late to pray...even if it is to wake up early in the morning and have personal, quiet time with Him. God knows there are way too many things i could be praying for...it's almost overwhelming. i don't want to have the mentality that it is overwhelming and that my prayers wouldn't make a dent. i know that prayer WORKS and that He is faithful.
oh, and another thing, God...please use me next Sunday with the musical abilities you have given to me...may my heart be refined and You get the glory. please also take the anxiety away!
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